If my life were an insurance/Boy Scouts commercial (or anything where the lesson is "Be prepared")
Co-worker L:It's so HOT in here.
Me:It's supposed to rain later. Maybe that will cool it down.
L:I can only hope.
(after work, at grocery store next-door)
Me:Mom, I am not going to let you spend $2.19 on eggs when I know we sell them for a dollar next-door. Let me go back.
(leaving grocery store and walking back to work, the rain is spitting)
Me:L, it's starting to rain!
(shots of me grabbing eggs and funnel cake mix for my brother because A hello funnel cake mix duh and B funnel cake is one of the ten foods my brother eats, before walking back up to the register)
Me:Oh my god.
(shots of people gathered at the front of the store, clearly afraid to go outside, as it is POURING and LIGHTNING and the parking lot is flooding)
Me:Um, wish me luck.
(shot of me taking a deep breath before opening the door)
(shots of me laughing and BLINDED BY RAIN trying desperately to find the car)
(shot of me finding the car)
Me:(SCREAMING, to myself, desperately trying to find the slot for the car key) LET ME IN LET ME IN
(shot of me unlocking car door, and then accidentally locking it again)
Me:LET ME IN
(shot of car finally unlocking and throwing eggs into the backseat not giving a fuck if they stay intact)
(shot of me running to passenger side door only to remember the lock is broken and it can only be opened from the inside)
(shot of me half-laughing half-crying, clothes saturated, water now just getting me wet, hair one giant knot, make-up streaking down face, glasses entirely blurred, standing helplessly in the rain, waiting for my mother to open the car door, because she has finally arrived, as she laughs at me from inside)
I can barely remember what this kind of rain feels like.