April 2012
24 posts
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“Magpie to the Morning” - Neko Case
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“gyr“What we’re actually seeing in the ocean is this kind of chowder of plastic –...”
– Edward Humes met with scientists who study the 5 massive gyres of trash particles swirling around in the Indian, Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. Created by the convergence of ocean currents and wind, the gyres contain masses of litter that aren’t entirely visible by the human eye. (via nprfreshair)
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If my life were an insurance/Boy Scouts commercial...
(work)
Co-worker L: It's so HOT in here.
Me: It's supposed to rain later. Maybe that will cool it down.
L: I can only hope.
(after work, at grocery store next-door)
Me: Mom, I am not going to let you spend $2.19 on eggs when I know we sell them for a dollar next-door. Let me go back.
(leaving grocery store and walking back to work, the rain is spitting)
Me: Oh, good.
(entering work)
Me: L, it's starting to rain!
L: Thank god.
(shots of me grabbing eggs and funnel cake mix for my brother because A hello funnel cake mix duh and B funnel cake is one of the ten foods my brother eats, before walking back up to the register)
Me: Oh my god.
(shots of people gathered at the front of the store, clearly afraid to go outside, as it is POURING and LIGHTNING and the parking lot is flooding)
Me: Um, wish me luck.
(shot of me taking a deep breath before opening the door)
(shots of me laughing and BLINDED BY RAIN trying desperately to find the car)
(shot of me finding the car)
Me: (SCREAMING, to myself, desperately trying to find the slot for the car key) LET ME IN LET ME IN
(shot of me unlocking car door, and then accidentally locking it again)
Me: LET ME IN
(shot of car finally unlocking and throwing eggs into the backseat not giving a fuck if they stay intact)
(shot of me running to passenger side door only to remember the lock is broken and it can only be opened from the inside)
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(shot of me half-laughing half-crying, clothes saturated, water now just getting me wet, hair one giant knot, make-up streaking down face, glasses entirely blurred, standing helplessly in the rain, waiting for my mother to open the car door, because she has finally arrived, as she laughs at me from inside)
---
I can barely remember what this kind of rain feels like.
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WE WERE SO BEAUTIFUL!: Seven weeks →
flaneuse-en-france:
April 20: last day of classes, last soirée à Gou April 21: n’importe quoi à Paris April 22 - 25: turn 23; move out of Gouvieux; Paris, France April 25 - 29: London, England April 29 - May 1: Krakow, Poland May 2: Zakopane, Poland (Carpathian Mountains) May 3 - 4: Tatranska Lomnica, Slovakia (Carpathian Mountains) May 5: Kosice, Slovakia May 6 - 9: Budapest, Hungary May 10:...
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Rick Santorum’s Campaign Was So Unbelievably Bad →
“Rick Santorum’s campaign for President was the political equivalent of drunk sex that goes on to the point of chafing in spite of the fact that neither party is capable of orgasm.”
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I will remember this sage advice.
Dad: If the car breaks down you need to be wearing pants. Just in case.
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Amanda Bynes Arrested For DUI →
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not Amanda, too!
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WatchJacques Pépin: How to Chop Garlic
There is nothing I love more than chopping garlic.
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