January 2011
53 posts
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Tonight
was good.
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Mouth-breather:
What I currently am now that I’ve contracted the exact same cold I had three weeks ago.
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Today marks the 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that...
– President Obama’s statement on Roe v. Wade (via coketalk)
Aww, thanks for the birthday present, Obama. Thank you card is in the mail.
(via alexandra-ewing)
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WAMIV: It always amazes me how, invariably, some... →
wamiv-:
What do they expect as a response? Here’s what I would say:
Hey Cathy, It’s been a while, but I am glad you’re suddenly interested in my 3-year relationship. I checked our “friendship” page and all I’m seeing is the one time I wished you a “Happy Birthday” in 2007 and you never replied. That’s okay, I’m sure you have some delusional concept of a relationship with me fueled by the...
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Me: I cried at a bar.
Kathy: At least it wasn't a mall.
Life is a bitch.
– My mother
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Statuesque
ataxiwardance:fromme-toyou:
Standing like gods, stuck in eternity… the classically beautiful and emotionally powerful sculptures of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
wonder! majesty! sculpture!
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Close Read: Holding Giffords’s Hand | The New... →
thewordunheard:
peterwknox:
This is a READING REQUIREMENT. Short, beautiful, touching, and tough.
I’m spent. I am weeping at my desk. For every horrible waste of carbon like the shooter, there are at least a half-dozen more wonderful, selfless, motivated and principled people in the world. I wish we could give them half the attention we give every asshole who tries to squeeze notoriety out...
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How do I politely tell my neighbors that I can...
More importantly, how do I get them to stop without saying “I’ll tell the landlord.”
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INT. WEGMAN'S - NIGHT
Claire and Kathy are purchasing beer.
Wegmans (to me): Excuse me, are you of age?
Me: (looks around) Uh ............... (whispers) yes?
Wegmans: Do you have ID?
Kathy: It's not for her.
Wegmans: I understand, but she's with you.
Kathy: But we're 21.
Wegmans: But are you?
Me: Me? Uh .......... no.
Wegmans: How old are you?
Me: ...... 20.
Wegmans: Yeah, okay then, you guys can't buy beer.
Me: .... Oh, I'm not with them, I came separately. (lie)
Wegmans: It doesn't matter. Now I've seen you with them and I know your underage, so I can't sell you guys beer.
Claire: But that's not a law.
Kathy: That doesn't make sense. What if someone comes in with their parents?
Wegmans: That's different. That's their legal guardian, and that person takes responsibility for their child.
Kathy: This isn't even FOR her. I'm bringing it home. To my house. For my family.
Wegmans: I understand, but it's company policy. And if I read the newspaper tomorrow and see that she got into some accident because she drank your booze, then I'm not going to be too happy.
Kathy: So, I don't understand what you want me to do. Do you want me to return this?
Wegmans: Yes.
Thanks for your concern, Wegmans. I was just trying to spend an evening with my MOMS but I can see how intolerant people would think that's a crime.*
*What I SHOULD have said.
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woman_laughing_alone_with_salad.jpg
closertotheocean:
natashalevinger:
blameaspartame:
(via thehairpin.com)
Guys, I RELATE!!!! My salad is hilarious! My salad is silly and says things it knows it shouldn’t but DOES IT ANYWAY!! Cuz guys, my salad GETS me!! I never have more fun than when it’s just me and my fucking crazy salad!!!
Did it explain The Hoff’s naked time with puppies? Or did...
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There is this one girl on Facebook that I always...
wamiv-:
but then I remind myself that she has genital herpes and I feel a lot better about myself because I will have that over her for the rest of her life.
*cough**cough* I know someone who thinks this about someone.
But I’m a better person because I don’t say her name aloud at parties.